Step Back In Time

I feel like I have taken a step back in time.

A trip right into the very midst of the overwhelming darkness

And once again I am a prisoner, shackled down by the weight of the world

But what choice do I have other than to plaster a fake smile on my face and pretend

For the sadder reality is that seldom does people really care about the truth

They rather just look at the facades; the masks and stay oblivious to the fate of others.

 —  the reality behind the smiling face

 

 

 

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Shine Bright

In a world full of matter

Aspire to be an anti-matter

The total opposite of everyone

Shinning bright for the right reasons

An unimaginable force of unknown magnitude

With the capacity for good; beyond people’s wildest dreams

Be the meteor that passes by enthralling the whole universe with your cosmic presence

 

(Kindness is a virtue. Respect is a virtue. Be a person that people just can’t help but love and respect. Put love ahead of hatred.)

The Secret to Happy Life

  1. Be kinder to our own selves.
  2. Let us stop criticizing ourselves.
  3. That selfie you took is perfectly imperfect, just as it should be.
  4. You are beautiful and utterly unique.
  5. Allow yourself enjoy whatever your tummy desires in moderation.
  6. Accept people’s compliments without second guessing their intentions.
  7. Open yourself up to others.
  8. Allow love to flood you.

 

Sometimes I wish have a refresh button in our brains or maybe a switch that we can flick off to rejuvenate our very being. Because things can get too much and threaten to overwhelm us out of the blue even. So, it is up to us to figure out the perfect balance in our lives that let’s us function to the very best.

In my very humble opinion, we are far too concerned with the materialistic aspect of our lives and our physical health alone. So, we tend to completely ignore our mental health. Our mental health is almost always in shambles, and crumbling to pieces by time we wind up the day.  So maybe, this is because we put unrealistic and unfair expectations on ourselves. We overlook so many things. I think we should start cutting ourselves some slack, we got up, we got dressed, and we go out into the world, that alone is an accomplishment.

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Let us start by taking care of ourselves first. We owe it to ourselves, for once allow yourself to just be you, abandon the pretenses, free yourselves from the pressures and expectations.

Go out, feel the sun on your face. Run in the rain. Eat tons of donuts. Write as many poems as you want. Set out to do exactly what you always wanted because you get to live only once. So make the most of this life.

 

 

(Image credits to Chibibird @chibibird.com)

Elusive Future

Trapped between the slippery slopes

Past and present colliding like meteors

And further out of reach, eluding me at every turn

Lies the vicious future, mysterious and forever evolving

Terrifying me to my very core, for I realize it’s inevitable.

 

Future is not set in stone. It is made up of your choices. Our attitude is a choice. Respect is a choice. Working hard is a choice. Giving is a choice. Happiness is a choice and love is a choice. So I hope each and everyone of us will make the right choices that sets us on the path for the best version of future.

 

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4 Activities To Make You Happier in under 10 Minutes – Part 2

Let us continue where we left off in the last post. My personal belief is that life is our journey to find true happiness. For different people it means different things. For some happiness means family, for others its all about money and then there are those for whom fun is all that matters. So, it is up to each and everyone of us to find what works for us. But what I am discussing here are more like band aids, temporary ways to fix your mood and get a good dose of happiness each day, when things get too tough.

1. Declutter your room

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For those of you not familiar with this concept think of it as cleaning up a particular space or rearranging it in such a way that a mess is lessened and it less a sore spectacle for the eyes. Now, I am not asking you to clean your entire room, I imagine that will take hours. Instead my suggestion is simple, do something small yet meaningful; like make your bed. That way, at least if you are wallowing on your bed, you will be lying on a neatly made and tidy bed. Trust me, just making your bed can help you feel better.

It’s not just your bed, tidy that table in your room or that one chair that is over flowing with clothes. And while you are at it throw all the clothes on the floor into your laundry basket. Just spend roughly 6 minutes or so on this and then just sit back on your freshly made bed and observe. I guarantee that you will feel so much better and you will feel this pinch of pride at getting something done.

2. Go outside and feel the sun on your face

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Now when we are feeling down, our initial reaction is shut our curtains, turn all the lights and crawl into our beds. Then we burrow further under our blankets and lie in the darkness. This is what we think we need, but what we actually need is the opposite. I mean are you aware that studies have proven that sunlight plays a huge role in decreasing depression. This is not mad science, this is proven science, why is Vitamin D also called sunshine vitamin? Because the mere exposure to sunlight means you get this vitamin. It lowers your blood pressure, helps muscles and makes brain activity more efficient. These are just the direct health benefits.

But focus on the feeling you get, from the warm sunshine on your face and the warm breeze ruffling your hair gently. Is it not calming? Just go out, do this for 10 minutes and you will feel rejuvenated. You will feel better. The raging thoughts will calm down, you won’t feel the doom and gloom weighing you down. You will the sun shining brightly and that serves as a reminder that nothing is ever hopeless, no matter how it may seem now. So go out everyday for roughly 5=10 minutes, even staying in your balcony counts. Just expose yourself to sunlight and see how it helps you.

3. Listen to Violin

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I am currently doing this while writing this post and I can promise you it works like a charm. Now lots of people listen to songs to improve their mood and some prefer rock metal too, which is fine but Violin has a different pull. It is very soothing and how shall I explain its effect? It has a sort of hypnotic effect and it feels as if it literally gets entangled in your being and takes you on this beautiful trip and you will fall your worries just slipping away and the only thing you can hold on to is the sound of the violin, stripping away your worries bit by this.

So I think, each and everyone of us should try this. Open up YouTube and immerse yourself in to this magical experience. You will feel yourself growing lighter and it’s almost like you are floating blissfully and nothing has hold over you, and you are free. So, why not take 10 minutes each day to listen to beautiful pieces of violin?

4. Treat Yourself to Something Sweet

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If you do not have a sweet tooth this may not work for you, but I believe there has to be at least one thing sweet that all of us enjoy. Does not matter if its a cup of Hot chocolate or a sugary fizzy drink. Donuts, cakes, lollipops, cupcakes and brownies or sweets…literally anything you can think of. Just try it. And I think it will make you feel better, even if it is by just a bit. For people who does not enjoy sweet stuff, have a savory craving. Just something to appease yourself and make your mood better.

 

(So guys that’s the end of this post. Let me know what you think and if you want me to continue this as a series each week. Please hit like and follow button. Your support would mean the world to me. Thank You for reading.)

The 3 Types of Guilt That Exists

Guilt is something that I believe each and everyone of us are acutely familiar with. It is a very strong and overpowering emotion. It strikes when you do something that goes against your own core beliefs. Guilt is accompanied when we do something that we believe to be wrong or when we fail to do what we truly believe is right. It is this pesky feeling that arises when you stand up a friends because you just did not feel like showing up for a get together. We feel huge pangs of guilt when we don’t call our family often because we know deep down that they are missing you. Guilt is what threatens to consume us when we say a lie in a moment of panic. And it is this same feeling of guilt that weighs on our mind when we fail to do our works to perfection thinking we let the rest of our co-workers down.

This is just a few examples of situational guilt that we experience. Now there are some that believe that guilt should absolutely have no place in our lives. Their rational is that what’s done, is done. But for us to make a decision on whether or not guilt should have any part in our lives, we need to know the three kinds of guilt that can torment us.

 

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1. Reasonable & Necessary Guilt

This kind of guilt is fairly straight forward and instinctive. You tell a lie and immediately you feel guilty. You do something you are not suppose to, like out of carelessness damaging public property; and guilt is upon you. Natural guilt is simple to break down, there is no time lapse between the action, or absence of action and the feeling. And this sort of guilt can actually make you a better person. Think of it like the brain’s way of telling you that you need to make amends. It does not matter the severity of the matter, natural guilt will be experienced as long as you are a person capable of empathy.

For example you could have been involved in an accident because of your own reckless driving and hurt someone. The guilt you would feel is immense to the point you may hate yourself, But it’s also this guilt that will prompt you to think of ways to make up for it. That can be by paying for the damages, paying the hospital bills, letting your pride go and apologizing to the person and their family. For me, what I have observed is that human’s tend to lie or cover things when under pressure. It is like our default setting. And guilt is most common in these instances. For such, situations guilt is acting as the much needed reminder to not lie so in the future. So, that is actually a good thing. That guilt that won’t let you sleep at night because you put off calling your parents is more than good. That is what will finally get yourself to stop being lazy and careless and do that.

2. Unhealthy &Toxic Guilt

This kind of guilt is harder to explain. Think of it like the irrational kind. Maybe you wake up in the middle of the night and start stressing and feeling guilty over something that happened a long time ago. Sadly, I was quite prone to this kind too, and I can tell you that it is not pretty. Toxic guilt is the kind the consumes you to the point it interferes with your daily life and cripples you. You will find yourself constantly thinking over that, regretting and it is a vicious circle. Toxic guilt can be mainly categorized into two. It is self-generated or triggered by someone or something. And it is all pertaining to things outside our control.

Sometimes this guilt manifests most strongly when we allow others to emotionally toy with us, we believe we are wrong or we have done something wrong; when really it is not the case. It can be anything really; a message from an ex-lover, a meaningless quarrel with so-called “friend”. And often times it the simple case of handling someone else the power to manipulate your emotions and making you think you trampled on someones feelings. People who fall prey to this trap are often overly self conscious, and have low self confidence and easily believe anything others say. I would say most people who fit to this category are actually too soft-hearted to the point they take of everyone else but their own selves.

3. Existential Guilt

This is probably the most bizarre out of all, but a lot of people go through this. In a nutshell, they feel like their existence is burden on people, that they are nothing but trouble and that the world would be better off without them. They will put blame of everything on their shoulder, their reasoning might not make any sense but at the very root of all the problem for them; it will be their own self and the world. This kind of guilt is very worrying for me, because people who experience this are often times quite depressed and fed up with the world.

They are literally drowning in the guilt and they lack the will and courage to fight back. They are completely shattered under the weight of the guilt that they see no point in life. For them it’s like, the world would be better off without them. Their families would be better off without them and so on and on.

So above are the three main kinds of guilt. It is extremely important to know the categorizes so that you know where your feelings of guilt fit into. And this is the way to start to formulate a personal plan for on how you shall deal with guilt. Because guilt is needed, it will keep our moral compasses straight, deter us from committing major wrongs and keep our humanity intact really. But it is necessary in a certain dosage only, overwhelming guilt is not good for ourselves. Guilt by itself will not solve anything. It is just a prodding; a reminder. How you choose to deal with guilt plays a role in defining your own character.

(So guys, please hit like and follow buttons and let me know if you want me to continue this as a series and follow it up with how to deal with guilt effectively. Thanks guys for reading.)

Five Activities To Make You Happier In Under 10 minutes

I am a person whose mood changes as often as the wind. In fact, it is so unpredictable that I myself am at a loss sometimes. The realization would hit me randomly that I am not feeling particularly happy . Perhaps I would have a bad tantrum or an outburst, which only leaves me feeling way guiltier later. And guilt is something I struggle really hard with.

So, I thought I will compose a list of things you can do to stop feeling moody and unhappy. And being me, I prefer things that give me instant gratification, so these are all things that will leave you feeling much better in under 10 minutes.

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  • Look at something in the color green : Green is the color of happiness and peace. These are not findings but they come from color psychologists. From their perspective, green color helps to strike a perfect balance between your heart and mind. It can calm you down and bring peace. Just trust me on this, open google and look up at green wallpapers. Or images that feature the green color predominantly. Also images of nature, especially sunflower Fields can make you feel better. Just close your eyes after looking at a green light, object, or image and then imagine yourself somewhere nice and peaceful. I guarantee you will feel much better instantly.Make-Morning-Workouts-Your-New-Habit
  • Jump around/ indulge in some exercise/ play tag: When you are feeling down, what you really need is for your body to produce endorphin’s which will make you happy. Exercising is the best way to do this, relieve some stress, blow off some steam and get the happy hormones to start flowing in your system. But if you like me have the tendency to be lazy and abhor exercise, then you need a way to convince your obstinate self to do it. For me, I like jumping around crazily. So that work’s for me. Just jump up and down a couple of times and you will feel the blues starting to fade. You can even jump on the bed if it’s sturdy enough and if you have someone with you, convince them to play tag and run around your place as you would have during your childhood. I mean really, shed all inhibitions and let your inner child out to play.

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  • Reading: My fail safe approach, the one I practice the most. Reading decreases stress by a stunning 68%. That too within 6 minutes of you starting to read. For me a book is the perfect escape from harsh realities of life. Just pick up your favorite book, keep a PDF saved on your phone if you must and read it whenever things start to get too much for you. Or you can read daily news too, that is if it interests you and keeps your mind off from worrying.

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  • Record voice messages: This one might be weird for me, but I sometimes listen to my own voice recordings and then feel better. So when you are in a bad mood, take that phone you carry around with you always, open the voice recorder and let it all out. Yell if you must. Cry if you have to. But talk and empty your heart. Go on and tell how much you hate that girl who is out to get your significant other, or complain about how you are not your mom’s favorite child, or berate your own self for sleeping all day and doing nothing constructive. This is for your ears only so you don’t have to worry about being judged. After you let out all your frustrations, give yourself a minute, drink some water and hit play and listen to yourself. Who knows you may even smile because now listening to yourself after you calmed down things would seem different. What you thought was the ice berg that brought down titanic might turn out to be a floating bit of ice too.

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  • List out things you are grateful for: We are all so focused on the negatives that we completely forget all the good things, the second something bad happens. We are not only meant to be happy when we win a million dollars or get something super fancy, no! Real happiness lies in the simple joys. Think hard. When you are moody, sit down with a pen and book and note down all the good things that happened that day. Include all the good things you did too. This can include the fun phone conversation you had with your mom. The kind compliments you got from shop owner. Or even the stranger who helped you when you dropped your bag. If you straightened your hair and felt pretty include that too. List out even the most seemingly insignificant things like how you found a $10 dollars in your old jeans or who knows you might have found that favorite top of yours from two years back.

These are just very few activities. There are so many other creative things you can do to improve your mood instead of conventional methods like music, TV and playing video games. There are so many other potential activities that can help you lead a much happier life and be more in control of your emotions.

Let me know if you think I should follow up on this article with more things for your guys to try.

Be Better People

They say a person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world: someone to love, something to do and something to hope for. Tom Bodett.

Tim Bodett’s words above paint such a picturesque picture. The ideal way things should be. But we humans are complicated beings. Our needs are constantly changing and our wants are endless. But at the end of the day, each and everyone is out searching for their own happiness and inner peace.

But in this walk of life our biggest struggles come in the form of other people. It seems incredibly hard to figure out others and theirs intention. Most of the time we mistakenly assume that everyone has the same fragile heart as us. But it is wrong.

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.

People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.” 
― Kent M. KeithThe Silent Revolution: Dynamic Leadership in the Student Council

Dreams

A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world. – Oscar Wilde

151104_DRIFT_Friendly-Melatonin.jpg.CROP.promo-xlarge2The world is made up of two kinds of people, dreamer and the ones who has stopped dreaming. We are all born as a dreamer. We dream big, we think big and we yearn for the extraordinary. Within each of us is the potential to be outstanding but we rarely tap into that. We barely scratch its surface during our childhood and teenage years. After that we are thrust into the real world. No more parents to act as buffers to absorb the live shocks that life decided to thrust on to you. Dreams are considered waste of time. We are told to be realistic. To know our limits. Stay in our limits. In short our own family, society and circumstances chains us to the ground. Options become limited. We live within a box. A very narrow box. And we are internally suffocating, our creativity is dying and dreams are ending up in the graveyard in masses.

 

You see things; and you say, “Why?”

But I dream things that never were; and I say, “Why not?” – George Bernard Shaw

Let’s be truly honest. What is your dream? Your ultimate dream? The one dream that has been shinning bright in your mind for as long as you remember? Do you want to a race car driver? Travel around the whole world? Be a movie star? Be a writer? Or do you want to help people by establishing your own NGO? Or do you want to win Masterchef Australia? Or did you watch a lot of spy movies and think you want to be a super cool spy like James Bond? What is it? What is the one thing that means the most to you in this world? Think about that. There will always be something. That one dream that makes iron_man_jarvis_wallpaper_006you who you are. I mean did you wish you could be Iron man? Even that’s in the realms of possibility. Did you know that? Iron man had Jarvis and now finally we have created Artificial Intelligence of our own, opening up a whole new world. As for the suit, sure it might take a lot of years and sophisticated engineering but theoretically you could create one. So see my point? Nothing is impossible. Nothing, not even flying because we are already working on flying cars.

Now after you figured that out, think. What is standing in your way? Let me help you list the most obvious ones. Life, financial status, family and circumstances right? But you are maxresdefaultdeliberately overlooking your biggest foe. Your biggest enemy. Your own self. You may find it hard to believe but you are right there, standing between the path to reaching your goals and fulfilling your dreams. You are there blocking the way, weighed down by your own beliefs and insecurity. For you see, you never believed you can do it. You chose the easy way, listening to others and society. You let them dictate your fate while marveling the success of great men like Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg. But then you envy them and think life is so unfair because they achieved everything with stroke of master luck. But you see that’s where you are wrong.

The leaders, the visionaries and pioneers of the world got to where they were by barack-obama-12782369-1-402following their dreams. They chased their dreams. They didn’t listen to the 101 reasons why their dreams were too big. They chose to leave past in the past and make their own history. Do you think if history is the perfect teacher? And we should follow history always? I mean do you think if we told someone from 1860’s that in 2010 The President of United States of America, the leader of the free world would be a Black man, they would have believed you? I mean there had never been an African American as a leader of the country, did that stop President Obama? See, he made his own fate. He decided to walk his own path. That is what great men and women do. They won’t give up, just because what they dream is considered too big or their parents fail to understand them and tell them to get their heads out of the clouds. No, I tell you, dream so big that you don’t just build a castle in the sky, build an entire empire.

 

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great. – Mark Twain

What you must understand is that the world is constantly changing and we have to keep evolving to keep up. Things that might have seemed too radical might be perfect for now. As they say, there is always a time for everything. Look how in the past science was viewed as tool of devil and scientists lived in secrecy, well today it’s the age of science and technology. This is the golden age of dreamers. So yes, sadly your family and friends may not understand you. What you hope for maybe concepts that they are not yet able to grasp. So, choose yourself. Choose to follow your dream. If they truly love you, they will trust you and trust that you know what you are doing. Above all they will be happy to know that you are happy chasing your dreams, no matter how far fetched they think it is. Tell this to your family and loved ones.

But then, there are those in whom the green eyed monster is dwelling. People who are envious of you. Envious of your visions and want to see you fail. You need to understand that these can even be your friends in sheep’s clothing. Such people will try to discourage images (2)you, influence you without you realizing it and you must be on alert for such games. Humans have a tendency to be selfish, in some this tendency is multiplied so many times that it has consumed them. Such people’s lives revolve around breaking other peoples hopes and dissuading them from following their dreams. Do not fall prey to them. When you encounter such people and such mentality, ask your self who says you can’t be the best? Who says you can’t be presidential? Who says you can’t ace the test? The only one whose opinion matters is your own. So, don’t listen to them. Dream big and race for your dreams. Give it your all. Pour entire heart into it and no matter how many times you fall, make sure get back up, because that is how you make your dreams come true.

 

Don’t just build a castle on the clouds, build an entire empire.

You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream. – C. S. Lewis

The Green Eyed Monster

Jealousy, the Dragon which slays love under the pretense of keeping it alive. – Havelock Ellis

 

Jealousy lives upon doubts. It becomes madness or ceases entirely as soon as we pass from doubt to certainty. – Francois de la Rochefoucauld

There is an ugly truth out there that holds true for each and everyone of us. Yet we deny it with extreme vehemence. The very simple reality of life is that, almost all of us are slaves to the green-eyed monster to some degree. No one, unless you are a complete saint, is spared from this plague. I know, no one will want to admit this to their own selves even, but this is one of life’s biggest truths.

I mean take me for example, I wanted to be as good, pure and selfless as a movie VH-spot-the-diff.jpgheroine. You know, the whole self sacrificing kind who would even give away her love for a friend. I actually thought I would be that selfless, untainted by jealousy. I remember Jacob from Twilight? Like how he basically hands Bella to Edward and gives that ridiculous speech about how he will forever wait for her and just lets her go get married to another man when she was partially in love with him? Don’t get me started on how it was normal for Bella to be in love with two mans? ( And while on the topic does anyone remember the conversation of Edward and Jacob later where Edward is basically begging Jacob to convince Bella not to have babies. And goes on to say that if Bella wants babies. she can have them with Jacob? Like what in the world??)

Anyway my own entanglement with jealousy is a long and dramatic story worthy of a movie too. Though I like to think it was way more rational and there were no running between two guys, neither did I jump off a cliff. But it was every bit as dramatic. In a way, that was the most happening part of my life I think. In fact there was so much drama that I felt like it was drama serial. A daily soap opera to be more exact and I never had a single moment of peace. No sleep. No time to just stare at the walls because I had to always be up and plotting to keep up with the elaborate game that jealousy thrusts you into.

It lasted roughly 2 years and I think for the three parties involved in it, it was a i-was-bourne-readyharrowing experience. At my lowest point, it included shameless stalking, patrolling social media accounts monitoring behavior of two people, noting down time to the second, cross referencing stories and what not. In fact if half of CIA operatives did there job as diligently as I did, they would foil more conspirators. The only positive thing I gleaned off from it was that I probably am a natural spy. That I could be scary good at it. But I am not too sure if that really is a good thing for me. I am serious. I mean really, nothing escaped my notice. Nothing happened without me knowing first. But it came at a very heavy cost, it wrecked my life. It was a never ending game.

But this was an eye opener for me, it was the very first time in my life that I experienced true, raw and uncontrolled jealousy. And it was not pretty. On the contrary it was very ugly, full of fights lasting 9+ hours and that was followed by more hours of talking things too, lots of crying, ironing my hair and eating fattening food. In fact, it once nearly shoved me so much that I nearly broke one of my biggest rules. Coffee. I actually bought a coffee once. And this is me we are talking about, I abhor coffee, I have yet to taste it. But jealousy took me to the very edge. Now you may be thinking, it does not sound so bad, but it had some very real and devastating effects on my life. It consumed me to the point I was unable to think of anything else. It affected my work, my studies and my relationships. I was in so much anger, that I had no idea how to control that anger flaming bright within me. And it made irreparable damages to the way I view the world and made me have intense trust issues.

Now, I won’t say that it’s all my fault. Usually with jealousy there are some valid underlying issues. And no matter what we say, jealousy is a normal human reaction. We are humans, we are weak and its basically in our DNA. But my point is, we can control it. We can control our jealousy and how much power jealousy has over us. We can train ourselves to not fall prey to it. We can train ourselves in such a way that we become conditioned to get over this pitfall. Yes, it is possible. When we feel the green-eyed monster rear its ugly head, we can force it back. We can correct ourselves and train us to turn the other cheek. To be better. To be kinder. To accept that we can’t have everything we want whenever we want and different people have different blessings. And how we should never wish others ill. But the first step towards that is accepting that we have jealousy issues. That the green-eyed monster is alive and thriving within us and that you want to change. That you want to free yourself.

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(Please comment below your own experiences with jealousy. Tell me your wildest stories, I promise no judgement. Now if you want me to follow this with my Guide on how to control jealousy please let me know below. And hit like please guys, it would mean the world if you could spread the word about my blog)